Wednesday, April 23, 2008

2500 GAME REPORT: Week 1

Lorien Avengers 3 - 0 Wolfenburg Shadows
Both coaches approached the first game of the 2500 season with some trepidation, albeit for different reasons. The Wolfenburg Shadows had gone the whole of the 2499 regular season undefeated while the Lorien Avengers had never won a game. An impressive 84,000 fans also turned out to watch the proceedings.

Things started badly for the Humans as five of the Shadows were caught up in the crush as they approached the stadium. This led to a violent argument between Jaq Drastique and Rudi Patton and they refused to appear on the pitch together. In the end Jaq won out and Rudi spent the whole game on the sidelines. He was joined by Tyrus Storm whose niggling hand injury prevented him from playing.

It went from bad to worse on the pitch. The Shadows kicked off to the Avengers who quickly drove up the left to score. The Shadows then received the ball and, helped by the five late players, tried to drive up the left themselves and level the scores at halftime. The Avengers managed to blitz the ball carrier, though, and then the Shadows had a massive task to simply prevent the Avengers from scoring a second. The plucky Humans held out and went in one nil down.

The second half started with the bad tempered Shadows fans hurling a rock at an Avengers player. While he was being treated by the Apothecary on the pitch, Dieon Flax was attacked and killed by J J Johannes! More Wood Elf casualties rolled into the Apothecary's tent as the half progressed but they managed once again to blitz the ball carrier and, despite a failed throw, ran over to score a second touchdown. A riot now held up the kick off for a turn as the Shadows desperately tried to turn the game around. Alas it wasn't to be, as they overstretched themselves which allowed the Avengers to steal the ball and grab a third.

So the Avengers secured their first league win and the Shadows wonder what hit them.

Moriar Crushers 1-0 Gorechildren
This game kicked off in sweltering heat before just 29,000 fans. The Crushers kicked off to the Gorechildren and then all hell broke loose. The ball was largely forgotten as the two teams got stuck into each other. In the most brutal incident Ithrag Akarak, Dwarf Trollslayer, was pushed into the Gorechildren's fans and torn apart by the frothing loonies. By the end of the half there were just six players left on each team. The score remained nil-nil.

The Chaos team suffered most from heat exhaustion with three players unable to restart the second half. Coupled with the players in the apothecary's tent, they began with a distinct disadvantage. The Dwarfs were able to capitalise and the runner, Bakarak Brown, ran the length of the pitch to win the game for the Moriar Crushers.

When will the Gorechildren's luck turn?

Bakarak Brown makes his break for the end zone.

Gutter Runners 2 vs 0 Hells Teef Rippas
32,000 Hells Teef Rippa fans battled through a blizzard to watch their team take on the Gutter Runners. The meagre 8,000 Skaven fans were massively outnumbered and were powerless to prevent the Orcs from ripping the referee limb from limb. As a result his quaking replacement turned a blind eye to Rippa fouls for the entire first half. Furgul Gashgrind saw the carnage and decided his niggling injury was playing up so he refused to take the field. All the fouling didn't help the Orcs much though, as they lost possession following a dropped catch and the Skaven nipped in. Fury Dreadeye ran over for the touchdown to take the Runners into a 1-0 lead.

At the start of the second half the Orc fans once again got to the referee and tore him apart. The terrified replacement of a replacement continued to ignore Orc fouls as the stadium threatened to erupt into a riot. The atmosphere was not improved when Krank Bilgerot picked up the ball deep in his own half and drove up the left. The Skaven Thrower pushed forward despite mounting casualties until he was hemmed in on the sideline, up against four Rippas. In a desperate play he blitzed out of the pack and squeaked over for the score. That gave the Gutter Runners a 2-0 victory and a winning start to the league. The Orc fans weren't finished yet as they now turned on the Skaven fans. When the green tide finally melted away, bodycounts placed the number of Skaven dead at close to 1,000.

Hexengate Slammers 0-2 Skinflayers
The Skinflayers won the OAP last year so started this season as the hot favourites while the Slammers had had a troubled campaign. The Dark Elves looked to have a strong squad, though, and hoped to get something from this game. It began badly for them when a riot saw their Witch Elf Shaz Stone badly hurt and unable to participate in the match. They kicked off to the Undead and tried to stop them from scoring. They failed. The Skinflayers proved too powerful and the Ghoul, Knuckle Bonehead, ran over the touchdown. The Slammers tried a desperate play but time ran out at the end of the first half.

The Dark Elves received the ball in the second half and began to move forward. Felon Despair was stunned to find a Mummy hot on his heels and he lost the ball as he was dragged to the ground. Rubric Coldblade pushed through the scrum to collect the ball and he tried to throw the ball to a blitzer in the end zone but the ball fell short. This let the Skinflayers back in and Frackem Skullhammer grabbed the ball. He shrugged off two Dark Elf Blitzers as he ran the entire length of the pitch to score the second touchdown.

It proved to be the winner as the game ended two-nil to the Undead. The only positive for the Dark Elves was that they killed Meta Tarsal, a Skinflayers Ghoul, so they kept up the record of one dead player per match in the season so far. This could be the bloodiest OAP league yet!

Frackem Skullhammer leaves the Dark Elves in his wake.

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