Wednesday, July 30, 2008

LEAGUE TABLE: 2500 season

Here are the league standings after week 2 of the Old Albion Premier League.

  • Moriar Crushers (Dwarfs) 33
  • Lorien Avengers (Wood Elves) 21
  • Wolfenburg Shadows (Humans) 18
  • Gorechildren (Chaos) 8

  • Gutter Runners (Skaven) 36
  • Skinflayers (Undead) 20
  • Hells Teef Rippas (Orcs) 20
  • Hexengate Slammers (Dark Elves) 4

Remember that the top two teams from each division go through to the play-offs.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

2500 GAME REPORT: Week 2

Lorien Avengers 0 vs 2 Moriar Crushers
Both the Avengers and Crushers came into this game on a high having won their first games. They knew that just one more win was almost certain to propel them into the play-offs. The first blow for the Wood Elves came when Adonis Saracen, their Wardancer and captain, called in sick before the game. Asurmen insisted it was due to a niggling leg injury but Anvila suggested he was staying at home doing his hair!

79,000 excited fans took their seats in perfect Blood Bowl weather to watch the Dwarfs kick-off to the Wood Elves. The match soon turned into a comedy of errors as Carel Marchant tried and failed to pick up the ball for the Avengers which allowed Alabrin Kai to blitz in. He tripped over his beard and missed his chance to steal the ball. Carel breathed a sigh of relief and bent over to pick up the ball - only to watch it slip out of his fingers. Bakarak Brown took his chance and picked up the ball but he was soon pummelled to the ground and the ball squirmed free. Again the Wood Elves rushed in and again the ball rolled around the pitch.

Eventually Brown scooped up the ball for a second time and made for the Avengers end zone. He broke a couple of tackles to run over for the touchdown at the end of the first half.

The Wood Elves kicked off to the Dwarfs in the second half keen to reduce the deficit. They couldn't get the ball, though. Both Apollo Cathe and Sanron Estillian were badly hurt and that mean Bakarak Brown could zig-zag his way the length of the pitch to score his second td of the game.

The only blemish for the Crushers were their demanding fans; some of them were so disgusted at the lack of Elf casualties they stopped supporting the team altogether! Nevertheless it looks like the Dwarfs are in the play-offs while the Wood Elves need another win to be in with a chance.

Wolfenburg Shadows 2 vs 1 Gorechildren
Despite being only the second game of the season for these teams, this was a must win match. Both the Shadows and the Gorechildren had lost their first matches so another loss would see them fail to qualify for the play-offs. A draw would do neither of them any good.

59,000 Shadows fans turned out in force against the Gorechildren's measly 4,000 followers and cheered on their team to the first touchdown. 'Cool Hands' Luke ran the length of the pitch to score and the Humans surprised the Chaos team by putting two of their Beastmen in the Apothecary tent. Slash Swordflux evened the score somewhat when he gouged the eye of Jaq Drastique who subsequently missed the rest of the game.

With only seconds to go to the end of the half the Gorechildren went for a long throw but the sun got into their catcher's eyes and he dropped the ball.

The Chaos team kicked the ball back to the Humans at the start of the second half. Ichor Axegore moved the ball upfield and handed off to Blunt Rabidsore who scored a quick touchdown in reply. The scores were now level and both teams knew they had to score to reach the play-offs.

Ichor Axegore seconds before he hands off to Blunt Rabidsore

The Shadows received the ball and immediately went for the long throw. Despite an inaccurate throw, Wil Munny managed to retrieve the ball and deftly dodge away from Moulder Blackfire. As he raced toward the endzone Ichor Axegore made a desperate last-gasp tackle...but failed to make contact. Munny crossed the line and gave the Shadows a 2-1 win.

So the Gorechildren are out of the play-offs and the Shadows have at least a chance to go into their last game. Their chances must have improved with the acquisition of Thorgh Gutbuster, a viscious Ogre.

Gutter Runners 4 vs 0 Hexengate Slammers
Skaven versus Dark Elf Blood Bowl matches tend to be brutal and high scoring and this game was no different. Despite harsh sunshine beating down upon the players, both teams tried to play a passing game. The Gutter Runners received first but quickly lost the ball to a failed throw. The Slammers responded by picking up the ball and trying to batter through the Runners' lines. A last-ditch trip saw Rubric Coldblade fumble the ball and the Skaven regain control. They quickly handed the ball off to Fury Dreadeye who scampered over for the touchdown.

The Dark Elves received the ball and pushed forward eager to level the scores. They simply couldn't stop the Skaven from breaching their defences, though, and Scummer scooped up the loose ball. He ran up and handed off to Sting Blackbreak who made the score 2-0 to the Gutter Runners at half time.

Again the Slammers received the ball and again they swarmed forward for the early touchdown. A failed throw let in Crick Knucklewort who completed his own throw to allow Scummer to make the score 3-0 and put the game beyond the Dark Elves.

The Slammers got the ball once again, determined to salvage some pride. Felon Despair, their star thrower, kept up his rotten performance by misjudging yet another throw and letting the Skaven in yet again. Krank Bilgerot threw the perfect spiral but it was expertly plucked out of the air by Felon Despair! Could he make one last throw to at least make the score respectable? The answer was no, as his own long pass was intercepted on the line of scrimmage by Vermin Rabidsore. Unbelievable! No interceptions in the league so far then two in one game!

Rabidsore bolted into the Slammers half to hand off the ball to Fury Dreadeye to complete the romp and leave the score at 4-0.

So this result puts the Slammers out of contention for the play-offs and all but ensures the Gutter Runners qualify. The burning question is - will anyone be able to stop them?

Hells Teef Rippas 2 vs 0 Skinflayers
The Skinflayers were the red-hot favourites going into this game as they had won eight games straight, in a run stretching back to the early 2499 season. Meanwhile the Hells Teef Rippas had lost their first game and could fail to make the play-offs with a loss against the Undead.

The Skinflayers received the ball at the start of the game and immediately a vicious fight broke out on the line of scrimmage. The Undead brought two mummies to the party while the Orcs had three Black Orc blockers and their newly acquired Troll, Durr.
Crucially, the Orcs won the battle and knocked both mummies into the apothecaries tent. The damage was obviously severe as they didn't reappear for the rest of the match. For their own part, the Undead managed to put Gitsnik Foulhead out of the game.

This allowed the Hells Teef Rippas to dominate the fights and they turned over the ball late in the first half. Grimgor Borgut collected the ball and powered over to score just before the half-time whistle.

Now the Orcs received the ball with the Undead deploying in an unorthodox deep formation. This was fortunate for the Orcs as their frontline collapsed when Durr the Troll forgot how to block and was kicked while he was down. The Skinflayers still put some early pressure on Kroksnick Blackskull as an unnaturally animated Zombie raced to sack the Orc Thrower deep in the Rippas half.

Blackskull broke free and drove up the left. The Orc line of scrimmage recovered and began to batter the Undead back, smashing skeletons and Ghouls off the pitch. This allowed The Orc thrower to make the short pass to Gazgrim Rok who ran over to put the game beyond the Skinflayers.

So the Skinflayers' winning streak is ended and their qualification for the play-offs is in question while the Hells Teef Rippas now have a fighting chance to go all the way.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

2500 GAME REPORT: Week 1

Lorien Avengers 3 - 0 Wolfenburg Shadows
Both coaches approached the first game of the 2500 season with some trepidation, albeit for different reasons. The Wolfenburg Shadows had gone the whole of the 2499 regular season undefeated while the Lorien Avengers had never won a game. An impressive 84,000 fans also turned out to watch the proceedings.

Things started badly for the Humans as five of the Shadows were caught up in the crush as they approached the stadium. This led to a violent argument between Jaq Drastique and Rudi Patton and they refused to appear on the pitch together. In the end Jaq won out and Rudi spent the whole game on the sidelines. He was joined by Tyrus Storm whose niggling hand injury prevented him from playing.

It went from bad to worse on the pitch. The Shadows kicked off to the Avengers who quickly drove up the left to score. The Shadows then received the ball and, helped by the five late players, tried to drive up the left themselves and level the scores at halftime. The Avengers managed to blitz the ball carrier, though, and then the Shadows had a massive task to simply prevent the Avengers from scoring a second. The plucky Humans held out and went in one nil down.

The second half started with the bad tempered Shadows fans hurling a rock at an Avengers player. While he was being treated by the Apothecary on the pitch, Dieon Flax was attacked and killed by J J Johannes! More Wood Elf casualties rolled into the Apothecary's tent as the half progressed but they managed once again to blitz the ball carrier and, despite a failed throw, ran over to score a second touchdown. A riot now held up the kick off for a turn as the Shadows desperately tried to turn the game around. Alas it wasn't to be, as they overstretched themselves which allowed the Avengers to steal the ball and grab a third.

So the Avengers secured their first league win and the Shadows wonder what hit them.

Moriar Crushers 1-0 Gorechildren
This game kicked off in sweltering heat before just 29,000 fans. The Crushers kicked off to the Gorechildren and then all hell broke loose. The ball was largely forgotten as the two teams got stuck into each other. In the most brutal incident Ithrag Akarak, Dwarf Trollslayer, was pushed into the Gorechildren's fans and torn apart by the frothing loonies. By the end of the half there were just six players left on each team. The score remained nil-nil.

The Chaos team suffered most from heat exhaustion with three players unable to restart the second half. Coupled with the players in the apothecary's tent, they began with a distinct disadvantage. The Dwarfs were able to capitalise and the runner, Bakarak Brown, ran the length of the pitch to win the game for the Moriar Crushers.

When will the Gorechildren's luck turn?

Bakarak Brown makes his break for the end zone.

Gutter Runners 2 vs 0 Hells Teef Rippas
32,000 Hells Teef Rippa fans battled through a blizzard to watch their team take on the Gutter Runners. The meagre 8,000 Skaven fans were massively outnumbered and were powerless to prevent the Orcs from ripping the referee limb from limb. As a result his quaking replacement turned a blind eye to Rippa fouls for the entire first half. Furgul Gashgrind saw the carnage and decided his niggling injury was playing up so he refused to take the field. All the fouling didn't help the Orcs much though, as they lost possession following a dropped catch and the Skaven nipped in. Fury Dreadeye ran over for the touchdown to take the Runners into a 1-0 lead.

At the start of the second half the Orc fans once again got to the referee and tore him apart. The terrified replacement of a replacement continued to ignore Orc fouls as the stadium threatened to erupt into a riot. The atmosphere was not improved when Krank Bilgerot picked up the ball deep in his own half and drove up the left. The Skaven Thrower pushed forward despite mounting casualties until he was hemmed in on the sideline, up against four Rippas. In a desperate play he blitzed out of the pack and squeaked over for the score. That gave the Gutter Runners a 2-0 victory and a winning start to the league. The Orc fans weren't finished yet as they now turned on the Skaven fans. When the green tide finally melted away, bodycounts placed the number of Skaven dead at close to 1,000.

Hexengate Slammers 0-2 Skinflayers
The Skinflayers won the OAP last year so started this season as the hot favourites while the Slammers had had a troubled campaign. The Dark Elves looked to have a strong squad, though, and hoped to get something from this game. It began badly for them when a riot saw their Witch Elf Shaz Stone badly hurt and unable to participate in the match. They kicked off to the Undead and tried to stop them from scoring. They failed. The Skinflayers proved too powerful and the Ghoul, Knuckle Bonehead, ran over the touchdown. The Slammers tried a desperate play but time ran out at the end of the first half.

The Dark Elves received the ball in the second half and began to move forward. Felon Despair was stunned to find a Mummy hot on his heels and he lost the ball as he was dragged to the ground. Rubric Coldblade pushed through the scrum to collect the ball and he tried to throw the ball to a blitzer in the end zone but the ball fell short. This let the Skinflayers back in and Frackem Skullhammer grabbed the ball. He shrugged off two Dark Elf Blitzers as he ran the entire length of the pitch to score the second touchdown.

It proved to be the winner as the game ended two-nil to the Undead. The only positive for the Dark Elves was that they killed Meta Tarsal, a Skinflayers Ghoul, so they kept up the record of one dead player per match in the season so far. This could be the bloodiest OAP league yet!

Frackem Skullhammer leaves the Dark Elves in his wake.


I'll be updating this page regularly throughout the 2500 season.

Team awards

Best Offence (most team touchdowns scored)
1 Gutter Runners 6
=2 Lorien Avengers 3
=2 Moriar Crushers 3
=4 Skinflayers 2
=4 Wolfenburg Shadows 2
=4 Hells Teef Rippas 2
7 Gorechildren 1
8 Hexgate Slammers 0

Best Defence (least team touchdowns conceded)
=1 Moriar Crushers 0
=1 Gutter Runners 0
=3 Skinflayers 2
=3 Lorien Avengers 2
=3 Hells Teef Rippas 2
6 Gorechildren 3
7 Wolfenburg Shadows 4
8 Hexgate Slammers 6

'Team you wouldn't want to meet down a dark alley award' (casualties for)
1 Hexgate Slammers 5
=2 Gorechildren 3
=2 Hells Teef Rippas 3
=4 Wolfenburg Shadows 2
=4 Lorien Avengers 2
=4 Moriar Crushers 2
=4 Skinflayers 2
8 Gutter Runners 0

Highest Gate
=1 Lorien Avengers vs Wolfenburg Shadows 84,000
=1 Hexgate Slammers vs Skinflayers 84,000
3 Lorien Avengers vs Moriar Crushers 79,000
4 Hells Teef Rippas vs Skinflayers 68,000
5 Wolfenburg Shadows vs Gorechildren 63,000
6 Gutter Runners vs Hells Teef Rippas 40,0000
7 Gutter Runners vs Hexgate Slammers 32,000
8 Moriar Crushers vs Gorechildren 29,000

Player awards

Player of the Year (gaining most spp's in 2500 season)
Krank Bilgerot, Thrower, Gutter Runners, 10 spp
Fury Dreadeye, Gutter Runner, Gutter Runners, 9 spp
Bakarak Brown, Runner, Moriar Crushers, 9 spp
Blunt Rabidsore, Beastman, Gorechildren, 8 spp
Erato Thalia, Lineman, Lorien Avengers, 7 spp
Shaz Stone, Witch Elf, Hexgate Slammers, 7 spp
Sylvan Wiltflower, Lineman, Lorien Avengers, 5 spp
H H McClaren, Lineman, Wolfenburg Shadows, 5 spp
Moulder Blackfire, Beastman, Gorechildren, 5 spp
Hurk Tarn, Lineman, Hexgate Slammers, 5 spp
Narga Adumi, Blitzer, Moriar Crushers, 5 spp
Jawlock Muzzle, Skeleton, Skinflayers, 5 spp
Blagrot Skrag, Lineman, Hells Teef Rippas, 5 spp
Gitsnik Foulhead, Blitzer, Hells Teef Rippas, 5 spp
Bano Saffron, Lineman, Lorien Avengers, 5 spp
Kullock Gar, Longbeard, Moriar Crushers, 5 spp
Silas Hardface, Lineman, Wolfenburg Shadows, 5 spp
Maggot Spite, Lineman, Gutter Runners, 5 spp
Carbon Skulljack, Zombie, Skinflayers, 5 spp
J J Johannes, Lineman, Wolfenburg Shadows, 4 spp
'Cool Hands' Luke, Thrower, Wolfenburg Shadows, 4 spp
Gristle Fistface, Beastman, Gorechildren, 4 spp
Horus XIIth, Mummy, Skinflayers, 4 spp
Apollo Cathe, Lineman, Lorien Avengers, 3 spp
Corona Terpsichore, Lineman, Lorien Avengers, 3 spp
Frackem Skullhammer, Wight, Skinflayers, 3 spp
Knuckle Bonehead, Ghoul, Skinflayers, 3 spp
Sting Blackbreak, Gutter Runner, Gutter Runners, 3 spp
Wil Munny, Catcher, Wolfenburg Shadows, 3 spp
Felon Despair, Thrower, Hexgate Slammers, 3 spp
Scummer, Gutter Runner, Gutter Runners, 3 spp
Gazgrim Rok, Blitzer, Hells Teef Rippas, 3 spp
Grimgor Borgut, Blitzer, Hells Teef Rippas, 3 spp
Kroksnick Blackskull, Thrower, Hells Teef Rippas, 3 spp
Slash Swordflux, Beastman, Gorechildren, 2 spp
Zack Steel, Lineman, Hexgate Slammers, 2 spp
Vermin Rabidsore, Lineman, Gutter Runners, 2 spp
Tyric Dimish, Lineman, Hexgate Slammers, 2 spp
Slasher Rukglum, Lineman, Hells Teef Rippas, 2 spp
Thugsnik Morbad, Thrower, Hells Teef Rippas, 2 spp
Snarheed Korna, Blitzer, Hells Teef Rippas, 2 spp
Dun Grom, Trollslayer, Moriar Crushers, 2 spp
Kili Karver, Longbeard, Moriar Crushers, 2 spp
Glace Steel, Lineman, Hexgate Slammers, 2 spp
Mace Blackblood, Lineman, Hexgate Slammers 2 spp
Blacknor Elf-Smiter, Blocker, Hells Teef Rippas 2 spp
Morfang Ironhide, Blocker, Hells Teef Rippas, 2 spp
Carel Marchant, Lineman, Lorien Avengers, 1 spp
Crick Knucklewort, Gutter Runner, Gutter Runners, 1 spp
Howk Itup, Thrower, Gutter Runners, 1 spp
Obur Ustrel, Ghoul, Skinflayers, 1 spp

Top scorer
=1 Bakarak Brown, Runner, Moriar Crushers, 3 td
=1 Fury Dreadeye, Gutter Runner, Gutter Runners, 3 td
=3 Erato Thalia, Lineman, Lorien Avengers, 1 td
=3 Apollo Cathe, Lineman, Lorien Avengers, 1 td
=3 Corona Terpsichore, Lineman, Lorien Avengers, 1 td
=3 Frackem Skullhammer, Wight, Skinflayers, 1 td
=3 Knuckle Bonehead, Ghoul, Skinflayers, 1 td
=3 Krank Bilgerot, Thrower, Gutter Runners, 1 td
=3 Sting Blackbreak, Gutter Runner, Gutter Runners, 1 td
=3 Blunt Rabidsore, Beastman, Gorechildren, 1 td
=3 'Cool Hands' Luke, Thrower, Wolfenburg Shadows, 1 td
=3 Wil Munny, Catcher, Wolfenburg Shadows, 1 td
=3 Scummer, Gutter Runner, Gutter Runners, 1 td
=3 Gazgrim Rok, Blitzer, Hells Teef Rippas, 1 td
=3 Grimgor Borgut, Blitzer, Hells Teef Rippas, 1 td

Most completions
1 Kroksnick Blackskull, Thrower, Hells Teef Rippas, 3 comp
=2 Thugsnik Morbad, Thrower, Hells Teef Rippas, 2 comp
=2 Krank Bilgerot, Thrower, Gutter Runners, 2 comp
=4 Carel Marchant, Lineman, Lorien Avengers, 1 comp
=4 'Cool Hands' Luke, Thrower, Wolfenburg Shadows, 1 comp
=4 Felon Despair, Thrower, Hexgate Slammers, 1 comp
=4 Howk Itup, Thrower, Gutter Runners, 1 comp
=4 Crick Knucklewort, Gutter Runner, Gutter Runners, 1 comp
=4 Obur Ustrel, Ghoul, Skinflayers, 1 comp

Most casualties
=1 J J Johannes, Lineman, Wolfenburg Shadows, 2 cas
=1 Erato Thalia, Lineman, Lorien Avengers, 2 cas
=1 Gristle Fistface, Beastman, Gorechildren, 2 cas
=1 Horus XIIth, Mummy, Skinflayers, 2 cas
=5 Zack Steel, Lineman, Hexgate Slammers, 1 cas
=5 Tyric Dimish, Lineman, Hexgate Slammers, 1 cas
=5 Dun Grom, Trollslayer, Moriar Crushers, 1 cas
=5 Kili Karver, Longbeard, Moriar Crushers, 1 cas
=5 Slash Swordflux, Beastman, Gorechildren, 1 cas
=5 Shaz Stone, Witch Elf, Hexgate Slammers, 1 cas
=5 Glace Steel, Lineman, Hexgate Slammers, 1 cas
=5 Mace Blackblood, Lineman, Hexgate Slammers, 1 cas
=5 Blacknor Elf-Smiter, Blocker, Hells Teef Rippas, 1 cas
=5 Morfang Ironhide, Blocker, Hells Teef Rippas, 1 cas
=5 Slasher Rukglum, Lineman, Hells Teef Rippas, 1 cas

Most interceptions
=1 Felon Despair, Thrower, Hexgate Slammers, 1 int
=1 Vermin Rabidsore, Lineman, Gutter Runners, 1 int
=1 Snarheed Korna, Blitzer, Hells Teef Rippas, 1 int

Most MVP's
=1 Sylvan Wiltflower, Lineman, Lorien Avengers, 1 mvp
=1 H H McClaren, Lineman, Wolfenburg Shadows, 1 mvp
=1 Moulder Blackfire, Beastman, Gorechildren, 1 mvp
=1 Hurk Tarn, Lineman, Hexgate Slammers, 1 mvp
=1 Narga Adumi, Blitzer, Moriar Crushers, 1 mvp
=1 Jawlock Muzzle, Skeleton, Skinflayers, 1 mvp
=1 Krank Bilgerot, Thrower, Gutter Runners, 1 mvp
=1 Bano Saffron, Lineman, Lorien Avengers, 1 mvp
=1 Kullock Gar, Longbeard, Moriar Crushers, 1 mvp
=1 Blunt Rabidsore, Beastman, Gorechildren, 1 mvp
=1 Silas Hardface, Lineman, Wolfenburg Shadows, 1 mvp
=1 Maggot Spite, Lineman, Gutter Runners, 1 mvp
=1 Shaz Stone, Witch Elf, Hexgate Slammers, 1 mvp
=1 Gitsnik Foulheed, Blitzer, Hells Teef Rippas, 1 mvp
=1 Carbon Skulljack, Zombie, Skinflayers, 1 mvp

Players Killed
Dieon Flax, Lineman, Lorien Avengers, 8 spp
Meta Tarsal, Ghoul, Skinflayers, 5 spp
Ithrag Akarak, Troll Slayer, Moriar Crushers, 0 spp

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

2498 GAME REPORT: Final

Hells Teef Rippas 2 - 1 Gutter Runners
75,000 screaming fans turned out for the final game of the 2498 Old Albion Premier League. Both teams were new to the final but the only player to suffer from nerves was Boneripper the Skaven Rat Ogre, and subsequently he spent most of the game in the in the toilet block.

The Orcs won the toss and kicked off to the Skaven, but the Rats lost possession and Orc Blitzer, Smite Elfguzzler, recovered the ball. In an audacious play he blitzed out of a ruck of players and sprinted over for a touchdown to take the Rippas into an early lead. The Skaven, despite taking some early casualties, are always able to score, and set out to equalise before the end of the half. Their thrower collected the ball and stayed deep, trying to stretch the Orc team. Meanwhile the Orcs concentrated on injuring as many Gutter Runners as possible. Running out of Rats and running out of time the Skaven went for broke. Their thrower ran forward and drilled a quick pass to a Gutter Runner who despite being marked by two Orcs completed the catch and dodged toward the end zone. Meanwhile a second Gutter Runner deeper downfield got back to his paws and dodged away from two of his markers took the hand-off from his team mate and levelled the scores at 1-1.

The Orcs received in the second half as the heavens opened and a deluge soaked the field. Starting from a touchback Smite Elfguzzler ran the ball to the Orcs right, protected by a cage of Orcs. Although the Skaven tried desperately to breach the Rippas defence the Orcs held firm and began to stun and knockout the Rats as they steam-rollered forward. Missing Bone Ripper badly the Gutter Runners needed an ace in the hole, and they found it in a lurve potion slipped to Smite before the game. As the Orc blitzer leapt into the crowd to meet the thing of his dreams he casually tossed the ball over his shoulder only for Hackflesh Grind to scoop up the ball, much to the annoyance of the Skaven Headcoach. The Gutter Runners final gamble had failed and Grind ran over in the last play of the game to score the winning touchdown.

In a final twist, replays of the winning touchdown showed that Grind had clearly applied glue to his palms seconds before he received the ball and this went some way in explaining his outstanding ball control in the downpour. The Gutter Runners successfully sued and forced the Rippas into bankruptcy, though the Skaven never saw any of the money as their lawyers took the proceeds.

2498 GAME REPORT: Play-offs

Gorechildren 0 - 1 Hells Teef Rippas
Would the Gorechildren make the final for the fourth straight year? After a riot which held up the kick off the Orcs won the toss and chose to kick off to the Gorechildren. The game started out badly for them as a chaos warrior received the ball and dropped in behind the line of scrimmage, only to be blitzed by a Black Orc Blocker. Blast Sweatgut, Orc thrower, picked up the ball and threw it back into the Orc half. The heavens promptly opened and the Chaos team could not regain the ball so they instead settled for pounding the Rippas. Several Orcs were put into the apothecaries tent, and although they managed to keep the ball they could not score before the half ended.

The Rippas received in the second half and drove to their right, behind a line of Black Orcs and their Troll. A melee developed which involved Ripper Bolgrot and Lord Borak going toe to toe. Borak was pushed onto the sideline, and Smite Elfguzzler blitzed him off the pitch! With the Chaos captain out of the way the Rippas forged ahead, shrugging off a couple of blitzes, and were halted just short of the Chaos goal line. The Orcs tried a short pass, but a Chaotic spy had watched their practice games and the Gorechildren spoiled the play. As a beastman picked up the ball, and the clock ticked down, it seemed like the game would go into extra time. But the Orcs had different ideas and managed to blitz the beastman, knocking the ball loose. It was left to Loon McMoon to pick up the ball and sprint for the end zone. In the dying seconds of the game he triumphantly planted the ball in Gorechildren's end zone to win the game for the Hells Teef Rippas and take them into the final.

Moriar Crushers 1 - 2 Gutter Runners
The Dwarfs had to be favourite for this game having qualified for the play-offs twice before and having beaten the Skaven already earlier in the season. They took the lead first too, against the run of play, when the Skaven Thrower was tripped by a Dwarven Blitzer and the Dwarfs picked up the ball. They pushed forward and after a ferocious struggle a Troll Slayer scored the touchdown.

The Skaven were up against it now as they had to kick off to the Crushers in the second half. The Dwarfs let the Runners in though, when they went for a long bomb which failed. The Skaven pounced and quickly levelled the scores. The fight intensified as the Skaven two-headed Thrower was killed and another rat was seriously injured. The Crushers went for the win when they attempted another long throw but they couldn't pull it off and the Runners recovered the ball for a second time. The speedy Skaven then raced for the Crushers end zone and scored again to put themselves in the final for the first time.

2498 GAME REPORT: Week 6

Skelly Bobs 1 - 1 Hells Teef Rippas
The Hells Teef Rippas needed at least a draw to make the play-offs while the Skelly Bobs wanted to win big and hoped that other results went their way. A suitably tense match followed, first one team gaining the upper hand, then the other. The Orcs powerful front line found their equal in the Undead equivalent, causing three casualties apiece and both teams scored a single touchdown to tie the game. So the Rippas are through while the Bobs must look to next season.

Moriar Crushers 1 - 1 Gorechildren
This top of the table clash would not decide the teams going forward into the play-offs (unless the Crushers were defeated very heavily) but it may be an indicator as to which of the teams would have the upper hand. In the event neither team got the advantage as the game ended in a 1-1 draw.

The Moriar Crushers took the lead in an unlikely throwing touchdown in the first half, when a surrounded Dwarf threw a perfect spiral to a waiting Runner who then ran for the end zone, leaving a trail of scorched grass in his wake. The Gorechildren scored a touchdown of their own through a chaos warrior to tie the game and predictably the game then degenerated into a mass brawl on the line of scrimmage. The only surprise was that only one casualty was caused during the whole game.

Gutter Runners 2 - 2 Lorien Dire Avengers
The high scoring Gutter Runners had to be favourites over the Loren Dire Avengers who had failed to score in any of their last five games. The Runners received first and drove forward. The Avengers dropped back and ganged up on the Rat Ogre to bring him down, fouling him as he fell. Meanwhile the Skaven failed a straightforward hand off and the Avengers were in! A catcher dodged in, recovered the ball and threw it to a waiting wardancer, who sprinted away toward the Skaven end zone and scored.

The shocked Runners were sent reeling again when the Wood Elves scored a second to go in two nil up. The Skaven pulled one back early in the second half but surely it was too late to get back into the game? Well, they managed the impossible to collect the ball and tied the game just as the final whistle blew. The Runners guaranteed their place in the last four, while the Avengers finish rock bottom. Will we see the Wooden Elves at all next season?

Middenheim Raiders 3 - 3 Hexgate Slammers
With the Moriar Crushers having played and drawn earlier in the day neither of these teams could qualify for the play-offs. They could have been forgiven then for simply going through the motions but this turned out to be the highest scoring match of the season. Griff was the star man for the Raiders, scoring two touchdowns and making another, while Angelica Hewstone scored all three for the Slammers. So both teams finish in the bottom half and must look to next season.

2498 GAME REPORT: Week 5

Skelly Bobs 1 - 1 Middenheim Raiders
This was a game that neither team could afford to lose and by the final whistle a draw was a fair result. The Undead team took the lead in the first half when the Raiders failed a short pass in their backfield and Steve Wight collected the ball, shrugged of a block and drove over the line to score. Von Keeganstein gave a half-time pep talk to his team and they responded in the second half. The scorer? Who else but Griff Oberwald. Both teams remain in the bottom half of table with only one game to go. Wins are required if either team wants to reach the pay-offs.

Hells Teef Rippas 2 - 0 Gorechildren
This game was a very tense affair and could have gone either way. The Gorechildren were favourites being unbeaten in the league so far, and kicked off to the Rippas to begin the game. The Chaos defence held firm and it was 0-0 at half time.

As the Gorechildren attacked in the second half their beastman ball carrier suddenly left the field in the grip of a Lurve Potion. The Orcs reacted quickly to gather the ball, only for Lord Borak to Time Warp, killing Thrash Coldblade in a block then breathing down the neck of the blitzer with the ball. In fact four Chaos players ended up surrounding Hackflesh Grind but could not bring him down. He switched play to the other wing with a desperate throw and this put the Gorechildren on the back foot. Although they recovered the ball they then failed a hand-off in a crucial play which could have won them the game, but in the end it cost them the game. The Rippas thrower, Blister Spikeskull, scooped up the ball and staggered over for the touchdown.

There was no real way for the Gorechildren to respond as they were out of time but the Orcs weren't finished yet. Slash Swordflux taunted Lord Borak to such a degree that the Chaotic captain threw an illegal block and was promptly sent off. This left a gaping hole in the Gorechildrens defence which the Orcs exploited, along with a kind kick-off, to drive down the centre of the field and steal another touchdown.

So the Gorechildren lose their first match of the season but still look certain to qualify for the play-offs. Will the Hells Teef Rippas be joining them?

Gutter Runners 1 - 2 Moriar Crushers
60,000 baying fans turned up for this Dwarf versus Skaven grudge match. Would the Dwarven defence hold up against the Skaven offense? Could the Crushers catch up with the slippery Runners? Would the referee spot the Dwarfs fouling the prone Skaven?

The Gutter Runners shocked the Dwarfs by scoring almost immediately after the kick-off. 1-0 to the Gutter Runners. The Dwarfs received the ball and drove forward themselves, knocking several players out and killing another on the way, and as the first half drew to a close they levelled the game at 1-1.

The Crushers started with the ball in the second half and held onto it tenaciously, until the ball fell to a skaven thrower. As the perfect spiral was thrown the stadium crowd held its breath and Troll Slayer number three leapt like a salmon to pluck the ball out of the air for an interception! The Moriar Crushers broke right in a carbon copy of their first half play. But this time Skaven Rat Ogre blocker Headsplitter was on hand, steaming in on the Dwarven runner carrying the ball. Another Troll Slayer saw the danger though, and in a crackerjack blitz he knocked Headsplitter off the pitch and into the middle of next week. So the Crushers ran over to score the winner, and go into second place in the league, almost certain to qualify for the play-offs. The Gutter Runners themselves, despite this defeat, still seem destined to qualify too.

Lorien Dire Avengers 0 - 3 Hexgate Slammers
Only 13,000 fans turned up for this bottom of the table clash and they were in for a poor display. Asurmen, the Avengers head coach, was kidnapped before the game and several of the Wood Elf team were missing through injury. This meant the result was never really in doubt, though the Dark Elves own incompetence almost let the Elves in several times. Fortunately for the Slammers the Avengers were almost as bad and could not capitalise on the Dark Elves sloppy play. In the end Spike Steel scored two touchdowns, and Angelica Hewstone scored one to win the game for the Hexgate Slammers. The Avengers had the last laugh when they 'forced' the Dark Elves to give their winnings to charity.

2498 GAME REPORT: Week 4

Skelly Bobs 1 - 3 Hexgate Slammers
This bottom of the league clash turned out to be an entertaining affair, although it was only watched by 17,000 fans. The Slammers Witch-elves dominated this game, scoring all three touchdowns between them, while the Bobs could only score once in return. The Dark Elves scored early in the first half and the Undead drove down the pitch to try and level the scores. The game hinged on this moment just before half-time and the difference for the Skelly Bobs going into the second half at 1-1 or 2-0 down was immense. In the end the ball fell more kindly for the Slammers and they quickly switched the play to go in two up. Each team scored in the second half and the Dark Elves recorded their first win of the season.

Moriar Crushers 0 - 1 Hells Teef Rippas
48,000 baying fans turned up to watch this Orc v Dwarf grudge match. Although the game was not high-scoring it was a very tense affair as each team maneuvered for advantage. Predictably the game degenerated into a vicious brawl on the line of scrimmage and the scores stayed level at half-time, despite a Crushers interception. What do they feed these Dwarves on?

The Rippas gained the edge in the second half when they knocked out three Dwarves and they brought their numerical advantage to bear, Blister Spikeskull running over for the only touchdown of the game. After the game the Rippas managed to steal the Crushers winnings and used the extra crowns to tempt 'Ripper' Bolgrot, Troll Blocker extraordinaire, into their team.

Gorechildren 2 - 0 Lorien Dire Avengers
This match pitched the top team against the bottom team and the result should have been a formality, but the Avengers chose to play some of the best Bloodbowl of their season and could have scored in the first half. Gradually the Gorechildren asserted themselves though, and the casualties and the touchdowns began to roll in.

So the Gorechildren go clear at the top, while the Wood Elves remain rooted to the bottom of the league. Frustrated Avengers coach Asurmen called his teams display wooden in the post-game conference. With a tiny crowd of only 5,000 as well, could there be trouble in the Wood Elf camp?

Middenheim Raiders 1 - 2 Gutter Runners
The Raiders looked to be in control of this game as they went in at half-time one up and were to receive the ball in the second half. Griff Oberwald scored the touchdown in typically bravura fashion as he single handedly tried to drag the Raiders into the play-offs. But if there is one thing the Skaven can do it's score touchdowns and they set about the task immediately in the second half. The rat-ogre took out the ball carrier Morg and the rats broke for the touchdown. The Runners and Raiders went head to head again after the next touchdown and against odds the Skaven came out with the ball, carrying over in the dying seconds to win this breathtaking game.

2498 GAME REPORT: Week 3

Skelly Bobs 4 - 0 Lorien Dire Avengers
The undead Bobs gained their first win of the season in emphatic style, shambling out four-nil winners in the end. Headcoach for the Avengers, Asurmen, was on a fortnights holiday through space and time in the grim darkness of future war, which may account for the Elves lacklustre showing. He had the last laugh on his return though when he unleashed the most hideous, evil force imaginable upon the skeletons in revenge; lawyers. The SkellyBobs financial irregularities were only overcome by judicious greasing of the wheels of justice, i.e. handing over their winnings to the bloodsucking fiends.

Moriar Crushers 2 - 0 Hexgate Slammers
The Crushers were hot favourites to win this game against the Dark Elves and their threadbare side, and the Dwarfs did not disappoint, notching up a comfortable two-nil win. Twice the pointy-eared harbingers of evil were ground down to three players left on the pitch as the dwarfs marched inexorably forward, and the only bad point for the Crushers was an argument between their two Blitzers following a touchdown.

Gorechildren 3 - 0 Middenheim Raiders
This match degenerated into a bloodbath right after the kickoff and The Mighty Zug and Morg 'n' Thorg were prominent on the line of scrimmage for the Raiders. Rarely has a Chaos team been so soundly duffed over in a straight fight, as the casualty rating for the match shows. The Gorechildren proved to have more guile, though, as the Humans took their eye off the ball once too often, and the Chaos team duly punished them, scoring an impressive three touchdowns.

Gutter Runners 3 - 1 Hells Teef Rippas
The skittering Skaven have an unbeaten record of three wins from three games after this entertaining match. The Orcs failed to get to grip with the Runners in the first half, and were suddenly two touchdowns behind. The Skaven stretched their lead to three after the break as finally the Orcs found some form, but they could only score a consolation touchdown.

2498 GAME REPORT: Week 2

Skelly Bobs 1 - 4 Gutter Runners
The Bobs fell to a second straight defeat as vampire star player Count Luthor was out of sorts. The Runners took full advantage and quickly raced to a 3-0 lead at half time, swarming past the static undead defence. Fans invaded the pitch in the second half to show their displeasure, and the Bobs responded when Luthor threw to the ghoul for a touchdown. It was no more than a consolation though, as the rats scored a final touchdown to round off an emphatic victory.

Moriar Crushers 1 - 1 Middenheim Raiders
On paper this match looked like a slugfest, and it certainly began like one as Zug was knocked out and Griff Oberwald badly hurt a Dwarven trollslayer. Griff then recovered the ball and broke from the line of scrimmage, leaving the wheezing dwarfs trailing in his wake and he ran over for the first touchdown of the game.

The Dwarven response was immediate; their fans knocked out a Raider catcher by throwing stadium seats at him. The dwarfs received in the second half and formed up into a formidable block to grind forward. Then the Raiders used their magical spell, Grasping Tentacles of Altanson, to trip the ball carrier and Griff dodged in to pick up the ball and throw the ball. The Crushers weren't finished though, and they seriously injured the receiver, recover the ball and attempt a throw! Predictably it was well wide of the mark but the ball hit a prone lineman and was caught in a longbeards long beard! The bemused dwarf ran over for a touchdown.

The rest of the game dissolved into a comedy of errors as Griff tried to break the line and the dwarfs tried another throw before the final whistle was blown.

Gorechildren 1 - 0 Hexgate Slammers
The scoreline of this game does not reflect the one-sided nature of this match.

The depleted Slammers team were further hammered by the vicious Gorechildren who ended up killing two players and injuring two more. In the second half the Chaos team scored the only touchdown of the game, and the Dark Elves could not reply. The only consolation for the Elves was that they managed to trick the authorities into banning the chaotic fans from the stadium.

Meanwhile the Gorechildren climbed to the top of the league with this powerful display.

Lorien Dire Avengers 0 - 2 Hells Teef Rippas
The Elves were still smarting from last week's defeat and looked to avenge themselves, and salvage their pride, against the Orcs. The Rippas did not play along though, with Dingbat McSmash scoring both touchdowns and Ike Goblinbaiter causing three casualties.

2498 GAME REPORT: Week 1

Skelly Bobs 0 - 2 Gorechildren
15,000 rabid Bloodbowl fans turned up to watch a brutal game between the evil Undead and the equally evil Chaos teams. The Skelly Bobs won the toss and chose to kick off.

Early on vampire star player Count Luthor went toe to toe with Lord Borak and stunned him, only to be knocked out by Lord Borak in a dirty foul later in the game. Meanwhile the Gorechildren broke to the left with the ball and, with the aid of a magical thunderstorm, beastman number eight shrugged off a fingertip tackle from the undead ghoul and ran over for a Touchdown.

In the second half Count Luthor threw a perfect spiral, using an Eye of the Eagle spell scroll, to a waiting Wight. He was wiped out by a beastman, though, and the Chaos team drove down the left again, even as on the line of scrimmage a Chaos warrior was badly hurt and Lord Borak fouled the vampire again, knocking him out of the game. Beastman number seven carried the ball over the line in the final seconds to win the game for the Gorechildren 2-0.

The Bobs had the last laugh though, as they kidnapped their rival head coach and ransomed him for the game's winnings!

Moriar Crushers 2 - 0 Lorien Avengers
This elf versus dwarf grudge match ended almost before it began. When three elf lineman were badly hurt and one elf blitzer was seriously injured the elves conceded the match. The dwarves were awarded a 2-0 win.

Gutter Runners 3 - 1 Hexgate Slammers
This game between dark elves and skaven was typically vicious, and as the score racked up so did the casualties. The Slammers scored through Angelica Hewstone, but the skaven, helped by an interception, marched to a 3-1 victory, putting three of the Slammers in the apothecaries tent.

Middenheim Raiders 3 - 1 Hells Teef Rippas
In a controversial start to the game Griff Oberwald was laid low by a magic spell, while Morg 'n' Thorg was killed by Ike Goblinbaiter and his trusty stiletto blade. The Orcs regard for the rules of the game did not improve with time however, and three players were sent off. Going into half-time 1-0 up the Orcs were confident of a win. Griff had other ideas though, and set about single-handedly saving the game with a succession of outrageous and skillful plays.

At the end of the game the Orcs were bewildered, and at the wrong end of a 3-1 result.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

TEAM PROFILE: Hells Teef Rippas

Orcs have been playing Blood Bowl since the game was invented, and Orc teams such as the Gouged Eye and Severed Heads are amongst the best in the league. Orc teams are tough and hard-hitting, grinding down the opposition's line to create gaps for their excellent Orc Blitzers to exploit.

View the team roster here.

Team Profile
The Orcs are a relatively new team to the league joining in 2497. Their brutal strength and sheer staying power should see them hold their own in the Old Albion Premiership.

The Rippas finish in the bottom half of the table, failing to qualify for the play-offs. Coach Skumma cancels all summer holidays and instead presses his team into military service in a bid to toughen them up for the new season.

After a slow start to the season the Rippas qualified for the play-offs in fourth place. They despatched the Gorechildren in the semi-final, and then beat the Gutter Runners 2-1 in the OAP final. Head Coach Skumma insists that his strategy of military service paid off last season so it's off to war again for the weary Orcs.

TEAM PROFILE: Wolfenburg Shadows

Although Human teams do not have the individual strengths or outstanding abilities available to other races, they do not suffer from any outstanding weaknesses either. This makes Human teams extremely flexible, equally at home running the ball, passing it, or ignoring it and pounding the opposition into the turf instead!

View the team roster here.

Team Profile
The Middenheim Raiders are one of the first founding Bloodbowl teams, helping to launch the Far Albion Bloodbowl league way back in 2495, albeit under the name Middenheim Steelers. Already, even in their short lifespan, the team has gone through numerous highs and lows including the resignation of two head coaches, a change of franchise, an appearance in a league final, and a bottom of the league finish. The fans are kept thoroughly entertained by the Raiders off the field shenanigans, irrespective of their on field fortunes, and more are surely to follow.

The Steelers pull off a coup when the sign The Mighty Zug for the inaugural F.A. league. When he is killed in the first block of the first game of the league it turns out that he is in fact The Not-So-Mighty Lug, a distant cousin of Zug. Despite this, the Steelers end up second in the league and qualify for the final. However, they finish runners-up to the Gorechildren.

A disappointing season for the Steelers as they fail to emulate their success of the previous season. They finish seventh in the newly expanded league. Head coach Marcionius de Bergerac resigns. New coach Marcellus de Bergerac, cousin of the previous coach promises a big signing for next season.

Even with the audacious signing of Morg 'n' Thorg, from right under the nose of the Gorechildren, the Steelers frustrate their fans and finish bottom of the league. Their coach is sacked, and the team is subject to a hostile takeover by Surgeon Hall, an eccentric Middenheim Doctor and property developer. The team is renamed the Middenheim Raiders, and ex-Steelers player von Keeganstein installed as new head coach. He sweeps the changes, and reaches for the chequebook, signing The Mighty Zug and Griff Oberwald. With the new league format in place, the Raiders fans are hoping to return to the highs of their first season.

Now renamed the Raiders, the Middenheim team start brightly, beating the Hells Teef Rippas. Griff scores all three touchdowns and this sets the pattern for the season. When Griff's form dips the team struggles and they narrowly miss out on the play offs. In a rare outburst Von Keeganstein says that he 'would love it' if he could win the league next season.

The following is an open letter from Marcionius de Bergerac, written after the 2496 season:

To the team and fans, this is my formal resignation, for I feel I have failed you. Some may say it would be easier to blame the team and a spate of ill luck. But I won't. I accept full responsibility for our current position of "worst Bloodbowl team in the league". But bear me no ill will for I done my best! So I hand the team to my successor (who is also my cousin) Marcellus de Bergerac and pray to Sigmar that he will do better and restore the team to it's former, if brief, state of glory. I leave you with the words I have used so often "there's always next season."

Yours Humbly

Marcionius de Bergerac

TEAM PROFILE: Gutter Runners

They may not be all that strong, they certainly aren't tough, but boy oh boy are Skaven fast! Many an opponent has been left in the starting blocks as fast-moving Skaven players scamper through a gap in the line and run in for a lightening fast touchdown.

View the team roster here.

Team Profile
The Runners replaced the Skinflayers in 2497, quickly displaying a combination of raw power through their Rat Ogre, and skittering speed with their catchers. If they can survive the rigours of a long season without too many injuries they could be the team to watch.

The Skaven set an all time league record win in their first ever game, beating the Wolfenburg Shadows 8-0. Their title challenge stalls however, and they narrowly miss out on the play-offs.

The Gutter Runners storm into the play-offs in a flurry of touchdowns. They overcome arch rivals, the Dwarven Moriar Crushers, to secure a place in the final, but are defeated by the Hells Teef Rippas. Will the team return next season? Has the head coach perfected his gene splicing experiments with the rat ogre? Can they go one better and win it in 2499?

TEAM PROFILE: Moriar Crushers

Dwarfs seem to be the ideal Blood Bowl players, being short, tough, well-armoured, and having this stubborn knack of refusing to die! Most successful Dwarf teams work to the principle that if they can take out all of the other team's potential scorers, and wear down the rest, then there won't be anybody left to stop them scoring the winning touchdowns!

View the team roster here.

Team Profile
The Moriar Crushers joined the league in 2496 and started out as the Blood River Rockers, but were forced to relocate after falling out with the local town burghers. Anvila, a true rarity as a female Dwarf Bloodbowl coach, growing tired of their sexist behaviour, tore out the Dwarf Lords beard and used it in her morning ablutions. The Dwarf team moved to the dark, dank, Dwarfhold of Moriar after cleaning out the Orcs, Goblins, Fire Daemons and mixed race hiking parties.

Coach Anvila displayed few feminine charms in her first match; as the opposing coach bowed before her she delivered a swift kick to his family jewels and cried "Into them! Forget the ball! Kill, kill, kill!".

Meanwhile, the Rockers make a name for themselves as they notch up the casualties and qualify for the play-offs. They run into trouble however, in the shape of the Gorechildren who narrowly win 1-0 and end the Rockers season. The Dwarfs cause a record 15 casualties for the season.

In one of her more unusual practice sessions Anvila employed a teacher from the Altdorf School of Ballet to loosen up the traditionally stiff Dwarfs, and surprised many a team with her leaping and pirouetting players. They qualified for the play-offs once more, only to be drawn against the Gorechildren once again. The Chaos team won and Anvila vented her anger on the Dwarf Lord, forcing the move to Moriar. Several top players were killed in the fight to take the Dwarfhold, while others were lured into the Old World Leagues with the promise of gold. Now renamed the Moriar Crushers could Anvila lead her Dwarfs to the play-offs for a third time?

Anvila leads hers Dwarfs in a typically solid campaign, never dropping out of the top three places all season. Those ballet lessons are still playing off as the Dwarfs make numerous interceptions and show good agility. They even develop a rough and ready throwing game! The Crushers meet their match in the semi final though, drawing the Gutter Runners and going out. Three seasons, three semi final exits. Can Anvila take her Dwarfs to the next level and reach the final?

TEAM PROFILE: Lorien 'Dire' Avengers

For Wood Elves the long pass is everything, even more so than their High Elf cousins, and all of their effort goes into being an expert at throwing or receiving. No Wood Elf worth his salt is going to be weighed down by extra armour and be forced to lurk about and attempt to knock opposing players over. Instead they rely on their natural athletic ability to keep them out of trouble, which is normally enough - it takes a very agile or lucky opponent to lay a hand on a Wood Elf!

View the team roster here.

Team Profile
Originally called the Loren Avengers in their debut season of 2496, they quickly acquired the nickname 'dire' after their poor showings in the league. The Avengers then incorporated this insult into their official name for the 2498 season, though whether this is an acknowledgement of their abilities or a sly joke at their detractors expense, is unsure. One thing is for certain, and that is the inscrutable Elves aren't telling.

The Avengers find their level in the league without much acclimatisation; they finish bottom.

The Avengers sign Jordell Freshbreeze and the Wood Elves shown some improvement this season, finishing second bottom. At this rate they will win the league in 2503. Freshbreeze leaves the shores of Albion vowing never to return.

Gluttons for punishment, the Wood Elves sign up for a third league season. They have a calamitous time, suffering numerous casualties and failing to win a single game. Can the Avengers persuade Jordell back in time for next season?

TEAM PROFILE: Hexgate Slammers

Dark Elves are generally quite superb Blood Bowl players, combining agility and amazing athletic ability with low cunning and an evil temperament. Although best suited to the throwing game, sheer spite makes the Dark Elves enjoy the running game, especially when a side throws up a remarkable Blitzer like Jeremiah Kool.

View the team roster here.

Team Profile
The Slammers were the second Dark Elf team to join the league, after the Howling Banshees. Their Head Coach, Jools Lamprey, is an ex-player and rules with an iron fist (as well as a long whip). His motto is 'All is fair in war and Bloodbowl' and he has been known to employ underhand tactics on more than one occasion.

The Slammers start the season slowly but manage to qualify for the play-offs. They are drawn against arch-rivals, and Dark Elf team, the Howling Banshees in the semi-final, and controversially win 2-1 to land a place in the final. The Gorechildren manage to stop the previously free-scoring Slammers and take the game.

The Slammers go from strength to strength and breeze through their semi-final with the Blood Rivva Nobblas. They take no chances in the final this time and kidnap the Gorechildren's head coach, while 'persuading' two beastmen to skip the final. The Dark Elves win 2-1 and to add insult to injury, ransom the Gorechildren's Head Coach back to the Chaos team for their takings from the game. In a further twist the Slammers cheerleaders disappear with the ill-gotten gains and several of the starting line up. Head Coach Lamprey must now face the new season with a severely depleted squad.

The Slammers get off to a terrible start losing their first three games of the season. With nothing but pride to play for Coach Lamprey comes out of retirement to take to the field once more and the team rallies, going unbeaten for their final three games. Lamprey vows to stay on as player-coach for the 2499 season.

Monday, April 14, 2008


In a bid to reduce the total number of games played over the course of the season, the eight teams of the Old Albion Premier League have been drawn into two divisions; North and South.

This is how the draw turned out.

  • Lorien Avengers (Wood Elves)
  • Wolfenburg Shadows (Humans)
  • Moriar Crushers (Dwarfs)
  • Gorechildren (Chaos)
  • Gutter Runners (Skaven)
  • Hells Teef Rippas (Orcs)
  • Hexengate Slammers (Dark Elves)
  • Skinflayers (Undead)
The fixture list for the Old Albion Premier League 2500 season has also been decided in full and is reproduced below.

Week 1
  • Lorien Avengers vs Wolfenburg Shadows
  • Moriar Crushers vs Gorechildren
  • Gutter Runners vs Hells Teef Rippas
  • Hexengate Slammers vs Skinflayers
Week 2
  • Lorien Avengers vs Moriar Crushers
  • Wolfenburg Shadows vs Gorechildren
  • Gutter Runners vs Hexengate Slammers
  • Hells Teef Rippas vs Skinflayers
Week 3
  • Gorechildren vs Lorien Avengers
  • Wolfenburg Shadows vs Moriar Crushers
  • Skinflayers vs Gutter Runners
  • Hexengate Slammers vs Hells Teef Rippas
Divisional Play-offs
  • 1st place North division vs 2nd place South division
  • 1st place South division vs 2nd place North division
League final
  • Play-off winners contest the final

Sunday, April 13, 2008

TEAM PROFILE: Skinflayers

In the Old World the dead do not rest easy. Vampires lurk in haunted castles, Necromancers seek to escape death by searching for forbidden knowledge, the Liche-Lords rule over legions of corpses, and on the Blood Bowl Field players who died long ago return to the scenes of their former glory and play Blood Bowl again...

View the team roster here.

Team Profile
The Skinflayers were, quite literally, created from the ashes of the Skelly Bobs, an Undead team that folded after only three games. While they will undoubtedly be suited to a long league season with their regenerating players, Undead teams are generally slow starters, and to combat this their Necromancer head coach has invested considerably in the talents of Vampire star player Count Luthor. Can he lead them into the play-offs?

Count Luthor runs the show for the undead team, popping up on the line of scrimmage, scoring touchdowns and leading the defence. Even his supernatural efforts cannot overcome the undead team's form however, and the 'Flayers fail to qualify for the playoffs. With their head coach now under curfew from the watch it is unlikely we will see the team return in it's current line up.

TEAM PROFILE: Gorechildren

Chaos teams are not noted for the subtlety or originality of their game play. A simple drive up the centre of the field, maiming and injuring as many opposing players as possible, is about the limit of their game plan. They rarely, if ever, worry about minor considerations like picking up the ball and scoring touchdowns - not while there are any players left alive in the opposing team, anyway!

View the team roster here.

Team Profile
The Gorechildren have been one of the foremost Bloodbowl teams in Albion since the league began in 2495. Led by the ruthless Lord Borak they have terrorised their opponents, causing a bone crunching 33 casualties in their first three seasons. When the league was restructured in 2498 many of the Chaos team's best players, most notably Bloodaxe Swiftfoot, were lured away to play for the Chaos All Stars in the Old World League. It remains to be seen whether they can recreate their form of seasons past in the new O.A.P. league.

Through the use of foul and unnatural magicks, the Gorechildren 'persuade' Lord Borak to captain their team. He kills Zug in the first game of the season, then leads the team to victory in the league final, winning the championship.

The Gorechildren had a tough task to retain their title in the expanded league. However, they kept the casualties rolling into the apothecaries tent, and ground out play-off wins against the Blood River Rockers and the Hexgate Slammers to be declared champions once more. 'One-nil to the Gorechildren' became a favoured chant of their Chaotic fans.

The Gorechildren set out for a hat-trick of championships this season, as ever led by the vicious Lord Borak, while home-grown talent was represented by beastman Bloodaxe Swiftfoot. When the Gorechildren hired a wizard to aid their team it looked like they had the title in the bag, but the Gods of Chaos are nothing if not fickle, and the wizard seemed to cause more damage to his own team than to the opposition. The final was a repeat of the 2496 final, but this time the Slammers pulled off a narrow win, denying the Gorechildren a title they had begun to think was rightly theirs.

Could the Gorechildren regain their title? They set about it the right way winning their first four games and racking up the casualties. They ran into trouble in the shape of the Hells Teef Rippas though and were dumped out of the semi final by the Orcs. For the first season ever the Gorechildren did not make the final. Lord Borak is already planning for next season, though he is keeping his diabolic lips tightly shut.

TEAM PROFILE: Blood Rivva Nobblas

A Goblin team's game plan owes much more to hope than potential. Goblins can make quite good catchers because they are small and agile, but the art of throwing is sadly lost to them, while the chances of their blocking anything larger than a Halfling are remote to say the least. Still, this never seems to bother Goblin players, and occasionally the use of a particularly devious secret weapon will even allow a Goblin team to win a match.

Team Profile
The Nobblas were one of the four founding teams which began the Old Albion Premier League in 2495, along with the Gorechildren, the Howling Banshees and the Wolfenburg Shadows. Their first manager, Olde Weazel, was well known for his hare-brained schemes and the Nobblas became notorious for their 'inventive' rules interpretations.

The Nobblas show that they are not just in the league to make up the numbers as they beat the Shadows, draw with the Banshees and only lose to the Gorechildren. Still, it is not quite enough to take them to the final, and they vow to go one step better next year.

Writing off the 2495 season as lucky, many believe the Nobblas will be found out this year, but they defy expectations and go unbeaten in all three games. Unfortunately this also includes two draws, and with a mounting injury list the Nobblas narrowly fail to qualify for the play offs. A change of management ensues, not for tactical reasons but because Rippa the Troll was hungry and Weazel was handy.

New Head Coach, known only as the Sconemeister, takes over and introduces some revolutionary ideas to the Nobblas. Concepts such as training and practicing are light years ahead of any other Goblins thinking on the game and it pays off quickly as the Nobblas qualify for the play-offs. They go out to the Slammers but worse was to follow as the Moriar Crushers, who also lost their semi-final match, were scheduled to take the same riverboat back up the Blood River. Sconemeister made a comment about Anvila's beard and the two teams went to war. The Nobblas have never been seen again.

Welcome to the latest lone pilgrim blog

Blood Bowl is a charming little pastime being practiced on an unimportant feudal planet in the Eastern Fringes. Two teams of heavily armed and quite insane warriors pass or run the oddly-shaped ball attempting to get it into each others end zone. If a team gets the ball over the line into their opponents end zone a touchdown is scored. The team that scores the most touchdowns wins the game, although this seems secondary to the violence and carnage occuring upon the field and in the stadium at large. The fans are a savage tribal lot and regularly riot and invade the pitch.

Although this planet is yet to discover our modern technology, still being stuck in the age of gunpowder (yawn), this Blood Bowl malarkey causes as much bloodshed as a small war. Strangely cathartic...

In any case I have taken several sabbaticals upon this Emperor-forsaken backwater and on each occasion I have taken extensive notes, especially concerning the Old Albion Premier League.

The next few blog entries will outline the histories of the main teams which have competed in the Old Albion Premier League and game reports between those teams.